TRAITS OF AN EMPATH - HIGHLY SENSITIVE

Empaths and Highly Sensitive People share similar qualities like being easily stimulated, need for time alone, being hypersensitive to sensory experiences and generally not as comfortable around large groups of people.  HSPs and Empaths are similar also in their way of recovering from high-stimulation situations.  They love nature, want to help other people and are yearning to better understand and create a richer, more meaningful life.

The difference begins with an Empath’s ability to not only sense energy around them but can also absorb that energy.  HSPs normally do not have the ability to feel what someone is feeling although they can sense more than others.  The capacity to experience the energy of others, which could be physical or emotional, is extremely deep.  Empaths internalize the feelings of others and this can confuse whether the feelings are someone else’s or their own.  This capacity can even go beyond the human race and can tread in the spiritual or intuitive.

The two are not mutually exclusive.  Many people who are HSP are Empaths but some people are just highly sensitive.  Meanwhile, some Empaths are highly sensitive while others may be people with strong empathy, but are not highly sensitive.  If we were to lay the differences on a line we would find people who are empaths at the far end, HSP closer in and people with great empathy, but who are not HSP or empaths close to center.  On the complete opposite end are psychopaths, sociopaths and narcissists who generally care little or have no regard for other people’s feelings.

I have been told during my entire life that I am highly sensitive.  Words like “intense” or “sensitive” were common in my hearing.  I used to take this as a slight, that people assumed I was not fun to be around, that I had little humor or that they had to be careful when they interacted with me.  Little did they know, and for a long time I hardly knew myself, that I simply sensed things with a greater strength than many others and did not understand what it all meant.  

I am so thankful to be living in a time when more and more people are trying to understand why people, like myself, are sensitive and less likely to simply categorize and dismiss.  Being able to have a strong innate sensitivity can make many things like music, movies or even a day at a park a thrilling experience.  The flip side can also be true.  As an empath, when I sense someone is sad, anxious, tense or depressed, I can sense the dark cloud that hangs around them and I find myself feeling similarly low. 

As a writer, being highly sensitive is a wonderful gift that allows me to focus on characters with an ability to formulate a scene where I can see, hear, smell and even feel as though I can touch or taste something in the world I have created.  The picture is vivid and rich and I enjoy stepping into another world for a fraction of time.  It is tricky to maintain such focus, but when it happens it truly does feel magical as I type away on my computer.

What gets in the way of better writing sessions are the voices and words of many others in my head.  Guidance by King, Lamont and White bounces around with different nuance or take on writing.  Then I have the intimidation of my fellow writers in San Diego. I judge, compare and hide rather than gather, share and collaborate.  One of the lessons I learned from photography education is that creative people can only share their process and what works for them.  Stephen King promotes a 1,000 words-a-day discipline whereas Greta Gerwig mentions focusing on the quality even if it is only five hundred words instead of the quantity.  Sometimes there can be too much information and too much comparison.  As an HSP, I delve into the education of structure and storyline while not getting distracted by various authors’ or writers’ anecdotal notes.

The more I understand being an empath, the more I know myself.  The more I know about myself, the more I recognize my uniqueness and the uniqueness of others. No two people can be next to one another and create something identical.  Even if another person shared the same idea or plot, each of our experiences, nurturing, education and style would produce two completely different stories.  I should take comfort in the knowledge of individual distinction and let it propel me to write my stories with more self-confidence.

Cover Image: A Young Woman Seated in a Chair, 17th century. The Metropolitan Museum of Art