TRAITS OF AN EMPATH - ABSORBING EMOTIONS

Empaths can walk into a room and immediately pick up and sense the energy of the people who are present.  A person does not even have to be nearby or even part of the conversation.  This has something to do with mirror neurons—special brain cells that help each of us understand other people, to be able to relate and what we use to learn new things.  

The difference with “mirroring” for an empath is that those neurons are more active.  This activity causes empaths to feel a great deal even with strangers and can also cause empaths to absorb the emotions of others. This ability to absorb people’s joy, pain or frustration can cause sensory overload and leave an empath fatigued, exhausted and sometimes even confused.

More often than not an empath is a highly sensitive person, but an HSP is not always an empath.  There is a distinction.  An HSP has a larger capacity for empathy and, scientifically speaking, has more active mirror neurons compared to non-HSP’s.  Empaths on the other hand, not only have a larger capacity toward empathy, but they also absorb the feelings and emotions of others.  This absorption is far deeper than relating and empathizing with someone.  It is like walking in someone else’s shoes and living their life in an opaque, distant sort of way.  

A huge benefit of being an empath is the ability to recognize when people are being truthful open and honest or if they are omitting information, even lying.  This ability can be hurtful at times when I do not feel trusted, but I also cannot help but be aware of my standing in every relationship.  I am not in the dark in my friendships and if a relationship is long-lived or important I can address the omissions with gentleness.

Another benefit is the ability to image myself in the shoes or even worlds of characters.  That can be in books, movies or plays. This three-dimensional view of a character or a world has been helpful in my effort to write. If I focus my concentration on a scene, I can see the world unfold before my mind like a tapestry.  This focus takes a great deal of energy and I have found it trying to find the time and space to tap into this ability in the midst of motherhood.

One of the major drawbacks to absorbing other people’s emotions is the drain it can have on my energy level.  If I am not careful, having too many people around me can be a silent consummation of vigor and attention.  I no longer go from gathering to gathering, but instead limit my social interactions making sure I still have energy left for my family and myself. 

This drawback does have a positive spin to it.  The necessity of my social limitation means I have begun to learn the art of saying “no” more often and removing more unnecessarily perceived obligations. I have had to prioritize and strengthen my discipline regarding how I use my time and who I associate with on any given day.  This growing ability has been vital to my sense of sanity and has begun to break my link to the ‘Do It All’ syndrome that plagues most mothers.  

As I learn more about being an empath and how I absorb the emotions of others, the better prepared I can be.  Understanding that my mind works differently than others is helpful to know.  My education has also solidified why photography has always been a good fit for me because of my ability to anticipate a photo as it forms.  With writing, I am still learning and attempting to discover how this ability can be useful. 

The most important lesson has been to prevent myself from falling headlong into the full absorption of other people’s feelings and emotions.  This can be quite difficult as it happens quite often for random people to share openly with me even if we are unknown to each other.  Something about this flash intimacy is beautiful in that I can be a listening ear and gentle receiver of their hurts, worries and fears.  But I have to be careful not to get lost in the lives of others. I need to distinguish my emotions from other people’s feelings and remember not to over-extend myself. I have to save time, energy, creativity and care for those I care for the most.

Cover Image: Group of Women, 18th century. The Metropolitan Museum of Art