TRAITS OF AN EMPATH - INTROVERTED

Empaths can have different styles of socializing and interacting with the world. Introverted empaths have a minimal tolerance for socializing and small talk. In contrast, empaths who are extroverts are more verbal and interactive when socializing and enjoy the banter with others who are introverts. They also can stay longer in social situations without getting exhausted or overstimulated.

Empaths can also be ambiverts. Ambiverts embody the qualities of both introverts and extroverts. They can display either style of relating depending on the situation, their energy level, and their mood. I fall into the latter category, finding myself needing alone time some days and activity and interaction with people on other days.

When I am more introverted, it does not take much for me to become worn out from social interaction. A trip to a store, a long pickup and drop-off at school, or just getting caught by a neighbor and led into a lengthy conversation can cause me to be fatigued. On these days, I schedule rest into my schedule. I used to try to make time and wish for rest, but now I make sure that rest is penned into my calendar.  

Sometimes I am not even aware I am entering into a phase of social fatigue.  Either I spend too much time in extrovert mode or with life’s way of compounding obligation, I can suddenly find myself aching to be alone but not able to. One way I can tell I am struggling is when I have trouble looking people in the eyes when people talk with me.  This is a warning that I need to find time in my schedule for some added rest and time away from people.

Then there are times when I have spent so much time at home I get stir-crazy.  I began home projects, much to the dismay of my husband.  I began to start new busybody projects or enter the rabbit hole of endless scrolling.  Either way, the searching for activity is a signal that I need to get out and socialize.  Nothing big.  Just some time having coffee with a friend, going to a mom’s group or working out of the house is what I find I need.  The energy from the city and other people’s creativity has a powerful effect on my projects. 

Whatever your personality trait it is good to have an understanding of what your needs are each given day.

After many years I have found I am an ambivert. I need both alone time and people time.  One of the reasons I like to live in a city is because I can have time to be around other people without them being close connections all the time. What I miss about living in the country is the space to breathe without people living right next to me.  That is why I have been intrigued by other countries that do not have suburbs.  I picture a world where I live on the very edge of a major metropolitan city. I can still reach the city by train but have wide open spaces to be alone. 

Many empaths have been known to be introverts, but I want to explore the area of empaths who are ambiverts.  Let’s start with some of the characteristics of an ambivert.

7 SIGNS OF AN AMBIVERT

  • Context Affects Needs

  • A Changing Social Limit

  • Preference For Deep Conversation While Also Good at Small Talk

  • Reserved and Outgoing

  • Can Be Something of a Chameleon

  • Prefers Meeting New People With A Friend Nearby

  • Needs Alone Time AND Social Time

If this sounds more like you, then we share the benefits and burdens of these two different personality traits. Ambiverts are introverted, extroverted, and neither. Sometimes, it would be nice to have things more simplified. The combination of these traits makes us more complex and can make us more capable of connecting with others and ourselves, but it is harder to manage.

WRITING AS AN AMBIVERT

As an introvert, I often ignore social calls to stay focused. I cherish my workspace and the time spent in my specially curated environment. Enjoying my pot of tea or cup of coffee without external interaction is a delight. During these moments, I tend to be more focused and less distracted. However, the downside of being an introvert is that I feel weary when socializing, and this fatigue can negatively impact my writing schedule. Additionally, I struggle with knowing when it's time to go out and see people. It’s easy to become housebound and forget about the outside world. When I stay home for too long, my writing loses its clarity and strength.

When writing as an extrovert, I tend to be braver. I visit coffee shops, write with less self-restraint, and dig into some of the tougher sections of my book. The downside is when I feel more social but am stuck at home. I get distracted by household chores and social media quite easily. Another struggle is recognizing my need for alone time, but due to obligations, I cannot be alone. Excessive social interaction leads to fatigue and delays my writing, causing a loss of momentum.

Intentional rest can have a phenomenal effect on productivity and health.  

Not everything is a struggle. There are some superb reasons it is great being an ambivert writer.

BENEFITS OF WRITING AS AN AMBIVERT

  • Different perspectives from meeting different people lead an ambivert to write thoughtfully and with depth.

  • The ability to write in solitude or when surrounded by people.

  • A vivid imagination that can see a scene clearly while understanding internal motivations, struggles, and victories.

  • Neither completely internal nor external, writing it is a combination of both

  • Writing is a way for ambiverts to develop rich worlds and complex characters

Are you more like a typical empath who tends to be more introverted? Are you a rarer type who enjoys the company of others, even as an empath, and does not get overstimulated? Or perhaps, like me, you are a bit of both. Whatever your personality trait, it is good to understand your needs each day. I also recommend rest for all personality types. Intentional rest can have a phenomenal effect on productivity and health.  

As a writer and empath, I encourage you to use your personality to develop your story. Introverts, make those social interactions count and do not let others tell you that you need to be more social. Extroverts, make time for rest, but go out and gather what you need for your story from the world; do not let anyone bring you down. Ambiverts, avoid creating a rigid formula or over-scheduling your days. Learn to embrace your personality, be flexible, be willing to say no, and do not be afraid to step out from time to time. 

Cover Image: Angelica Kauffmann. Study of a Standing Woman, 1792–96. The Metropolitan Museum of Art