TRAITS OF AN EMPATH - INTROVERTED
Empaths can have different styles of socializing and interacting with the world. Introverted empaths have a minimal tolerance for socializing and small talk. In contrast, empaths who are extroverts are more verbal and interactive when socializing and enjoy the banter with others who are introverts. They also can stay longer in social situations without getting exhausted or overstimulated.
Empaths can also be ambiverts. Ambiverts can embody the qualities of both introverts and extroverts. They are capable of displaying either style of relating depending on the situation, their energy level, and their mood. I fall into the latter category finding myself needing alone time some days and then needing activity and interaction with people on other days.
When I lean more introverted, it does not take much for me to be worn out from social interaction. A trip to a store, a long pickup and drop off at school or just getting caught by a neighbor and led into a lengthy conversation can cause me to be fatigued. On these days, I schedule rest into my schedule. I used to try to make time and wish for rest. Now I make sure that rest is penned into my calendar.
Sometimes I am not even aware I am entering into a phase of social fatigue. Either I spend too much time in extrovert mode or with life’s way of compounding obligation, I can suddenly find myself aching to be alone but not able to. One way I can tell I am struggling is when I have trouble looking people in the eyes when people talk with me. This is a warning that I need to find time in my schedule for some added rest and time away from people.
Then there are times when I have spent so much time at home I get stir-crazy. I began home projects, much to the dismay of my husband. I began to start new busybody projects or enter the rabbit hole of endless scrolling. Either way, the searching for activity is a signal that I need to get out and socialize. Nothing big. Just some time having coffee with a friend, going to a mom’s group or working out of the house is what I find I need. The energy from the city and other people’s creativity has a powerful effect on my projects.
“Whatever your personality trait it is good to have an understanding of what your needs are each given day.”
After many years I have found I am an ambivert. I need both alone time and people time. One of the reasons I like to live in a city is because I can have time to be around other people without them being close connections all the time. What I miss about living in the country is the space to breathe without people living right next to me. That is why I have been intrigued by other countries that do not have suburbs. I picture a world where I live on the very edge of a major metropolitan city. I can still reach the city by train but have wide open spaces to be alone.
Many empaths have been known to be introverts, but I want to explore the area of empaths who are ambiverts. Let’s start with some of the characteristics of an ambivert.
7 SIGNS OF AN AMBIVERT
Context Affects Needs
A Changing Social Limit
Preference For Deep Conversation While Also Good at Small Talk
Reserved and Outgoing
Can Be Something of a Chameleon
Prefers Meeting New People With A Friend Nearby
Needs Alone Time AND Social Time
If this sounds more like you then we share the benefits and the burden of these two different personality traits. As an ambivert, we are introverted and extroverted and neither. Sometimes it would be nice to have things more simplified. The combination of these traits makes us more complex and can make us more capable of connecting with others and ourselves, but it is harder to manage.
WRITING AS AN AMBIVERT
When writing as an introvert, I ignore many of the social calls and keep myself focused. I adore my workspace and having time in my specially curated space. I also relish having my pot of tea or cup of coffee without interaction with the outside world. I am more focused during these times and tend to be less distracted. The negative of being an introvert is that I get weary when I have to be social and that weariness can seep into my writing time or lack thereof. Another struggle is knowing when I need to get out and see people. It can be too easy to stay at home and forget about the outside world. When I stay housebound for too long my writing becomes soft and opaque.
When writing as an extrovert, I tend to be braver. I visit coffee shops, write with less self-restraint and dig into some of the tougher sections of my book. The downside is when I am feeling more social but stuck at home. I get distracted by household things and social media quite easily. Another struggle is when I recognize my need for alone time but because of obligations, I cannot be alone. Excessive social interaction leads me to fatigue and delays my writing causing a loss in momentum.
“Intentional rest can have a phenomenal effect on productivity and health. ”
Not everything is a struggle. There are some superb reasons it is great being an ambivert writer.
BENEFITS OF WRITING AS AN AMBIVERT
Different perspectives from meeting different people lead an ambivert to write thoughtfully and with depth.
The ability to write in solitude or when surrounded by people.
A vivid imagination that can see a scene clearly while understanding internal motivations, struggles and victories.
Neither completely internal nor external, writing it is a combination of both
Writing is a way for ambiverts to develop rich worlds and complex characters
Are you more like a typical empath who leans on the more introverted side? Are you a rarer bird and enjoy the company of others and time with people even as an empath and you do not get overstimulated? Or, perhaps, like me, you are a bit of both. Whatever your personality trait it is good to have an understanding of what your needs are each given day. I also recommend rest for all personality types. Intentional rest can have a phenomenal effect on productivity and health.
As a writer and as an empath, I encourage the use of what your personality offers to develop your story. Introverts, make those social interactions count and do not let people tell you you need to be more social. Extroverts, make time for rest, but go out and glean what you need for your story from the world and do not let other people put you down. Ambiverts, try not to create a formula or over-schedule your days. Learn to roll with your personality, be flexible, be willing to say no and do not be afraid to get out from time to time.
Cover Image: Angelica Kauffmann. Study of a Standing Woman, 1792–96. The Metropolitan Museum of Art