TRAITS OF AN EMPATH - INTROVERTED
Empaths can have different styles of socializing and interacting with the world. Introverted empaths have little tolerance for socializing or small talk. In contrast, extroverted empaths are more verbal and interactive when socializing and enjoy bantering with introverted others. They can also stay longer in social situations without getting exhausted or overstimulated.
Empaths can also be ambiverts. Ambiverts embody the qualities of both introverts and extroverts. They can display either style of relating depending on the situation, their energy level, and their mood. I fall into the latter category, needing alone time some days and activity and interaction with people on others.
When I am more introverted, it takes little for me to become worn out by social interaction. A trip to the store, a long pickup and drop-off at school, or even being caught by a neighbor and drawn into a lengthy conversation can leave me fatigued. On these days, I schedule rest into my schedule. I used to try to make time and wish for rest, but now I make sure that rest is planned into my calendar.
Sometimes I am not even aware that I am entering into a phase of social fatigue. Either I spend too much time in extrovert mode or with life’s way of compounding obligation, I can suddenly find myself aching to be alone but not able to. One way I can tell I am struggling is when I have trouble looking people in the eyes when they talk to me. This is a warning that I need to find time in my schedule for some added rest and time away from people.
Then there are times when I've been home so long I get stir-crazy. I began home projects, much to my husband's dismay. I began to start new busybody projects or enter the rabbit hole of endless scrolling. Either way, the searching for activity is a signal that I need to get out and socialize. Nothing big. Just some time having coffee with a friend, going to a mom’s group, or working out of the house is what I find I need. The energy from the city and other people’s creativity has a powerful effect on my projects.
Whatever your personality trait it is good to have an understanding of what your needs are each given day.
After many years, I have found I am an ambivert. I need both alone time and people time. One of the reasons I like living in a city is that I can spend time around other people without being close to them all the time. What I miss about living in the country is the space to breathe without people living right next to me. That is why I have been intrigued by countries without suburbs. I picture a world where I live on the very edge of a major metropolitan city. I can still reach the city by train, but I have wide open spaces to be alone.
Many empaths are introverts, but I want to explore empaths who are ambiverts. Let’s start with some of the characteristics of an ambivert.
7 SIGNS OF AN AMBIVERT
Context Affects Needs
A Changing Social Limit
Preference For Deep Conversation While Also Good at Small Talk
Reserved and Outgoing
Can Be Something of a Chameleon
Prefers Meeting New People With A Friend Nearby
Needs Alone Time AND Social Time
If this sounds more like you, then we share the benefits and burdens of these two different personality traits. Ambiverts are introverted, extroverted, and neither. Sometimes, it would be nice to have things more simplified. The combination of these traits makes us more complex and better able to connect with others and ourselves, but it is harder to manage.
WRITING AS AN AMBIVERT
As an introvert, I often ignore social calls to stay focused. I cherish my workspace and the time I spend in my carefully curated environment. Enjoying my pot of tea or cup of coffee in solitude is a delight. During these moments, I tend to be more focused and less distracted. However, the downside of being an introvert is that I feel weary when socializing, and this fatigue can negatively impact my writing schedule. Additionally, I struggle with knowing when it's time to go out and see people. It’s easy to become housebound and forget about the outside world. When I stay home for too long, my writing loses its clarity and strength.
When writing as an extrovert, I tend to be braver. I visit coffee shops, write with less self-restraint, and dig into some of the tougher sections of my book. The downside is that when I feel more social, I'm stuck at home. I get distracted by household chores and social media quite easily. Another struggle is recognizing my need for alone time, yet obligations keep me from being alone. Excessive social interaction leaves me fatigued and delays my writing, sapping momentum.
Intentional rest can have a phenomenal effect on productivity and health.
Not everything is a struggle. There are some compelling benefits to being an ambivert writer.
BENEFITS OF WRITING AS AN AMBIVERT
Different perspectives from meeting different people lead an ambivert to write thoughtfully and with depth.
The ability to write in solitude or when surrounded by people.
A vivid imagination that can see a scene clearly while understanding internal motivations, struggles, and victories.
Neither completely internal nor external, writing it is a combination of both
Writing is a way for ambiverts to develop rich worlds and complex characters
Are you more like a typical empath, introverted? Are you a rarer type who enjoys the company of others, even as an empath, and does not get overstimulated? Or perhaps, like me, you are a bit of both. Whatever your personality trait, it is good to understand your needs each day. I also recommend rest for all personality types. Intentional rest can have a phenomenal effect on productivity and health.
As a writer and an empath, I encourage you to let your personality shape your story. Introverts, make those social interactions count, and do not let others tell you that you need to be more social. Extroverts, make time for rest, but go out and gather what you need for your story from the world; do not let anyone bring you down. Ambiverts, avoid creating a rigid formula or over-scheduling your days. Learn to embrace your personality, be flexible, be willing to say no, and do not be afraid to step out from time to time.
Cover Image: Angelica Kauffmann. Study of a Standing Woman, 1792–96. The Metropolitan Museum of Art